Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Who knew?

Who knew there was such a thing as LIFE after 40? O-kay, everybody older than 40, that's who! But until I turned 40 last year, I had no idea. I was seriously freaking out about hitting this milestone. I mean 40! It's a big number! I felt like I was about to hit the half-way point of my life, and there was no where to go but down. I felt like the best part of my life was behind me, and I really hadn't accomplished anything of significance. Now some of you are thinking, "What is she talking about?!?  She has an amazing husband, (which I do!) and three fantastic kids! (which I also do!)" But there are lots of people out there that have amazing husbands and fantastic kids! (Maybe not quite as amazing and fantastic as mine, but still great!) I'm talking about something significant that's unique to me. Maybe that might seem a little selfish, but in all honesty, doesn't everyone want something that is special and unique to them?
Now, in all fairness, last year was a pretty big year for me. Not only did I turn 40, but my oldest boy graduated at the same time. And I mean seriously, if you have a kid that's graduated, you must be getting old.... mature..... something.....

Me and my graduate, Nick

Isn't he handsome? (I'll take credit for how handsome he is!)
And seriously, when your kid hits a milestone and you hit a milestone at the same time..... well, it was a lot to handle!
And yup, that's me at 40. 40. 40....... sigh.........
I don't feel 40. I don't think I look 40. But.... I am 40.
And there are definite signs of aging. Lately, looking in the mirror does not bring near as much pleasure as it used to. I see the wrinkles around my eyes. And there is a rather large quantity of grey hair underneath my store-bought colour.
And so I wonder....
How did it happen? When did I start to look so ......mature.
When did I become my mother?
Not that it's a bad thing to be my mother.
 I happen to think that she is pretty awesome.
See? She is AWESOME! 
It's just that I didn't realize how fast time would go by. I didn't realize that one day I too, would have to grow up. And act like a mature person. And be responsible.
And turn 40.
But it is nice that I am becoming more like my mother. After all, I've realized that she is more than just a mother.
She is a woman, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a friend. My friend.
And, even at 40, I feel like I am ALL of those things -including being a mother- and I feel like being all of those things play an important role in who I am. Not that they define me, but they are definitely a large part of me.
And the thing is, I like who I am. Mostly. And, more importantly, I like who I am becoming. Because folks, life does not end at 40. I know this, because in less than two weeks, I'm going to be 41.