Sunday, 9 November 2014

I love you, Jacob, forever.

To my best Jacob!
Happy birthday! I can hardly believe that you are seventeen years old! Where did the time go? When did you grow from a sweet, precocious little boy, to a crazy handsome young man? Where have the years gone? I still remember sitting on my bed with you, still a newborn, snuggled in my arms, reading, "I Love You Forever". I wept throughout the entire book. Still, to this day, I can't read that book without remembering that moment. I loved you so much. I couldn't imagine loving you more. And yet, here we are, seventeen years later, and I do.
Actually, I have a confession to make. When I was still pregnant with you, I was worried that when you were born, I wouldn't be able to love you as much as I loved Nicholas. You see, he filled my heart so much, I wasn't sure I would be able to love another baby the same way. Gramma told me that I would, but I wasn't entirely sure I believed her.
 And also, I was hoping that you were a girl.
And then, November 10th came. And I went into labour. And just before you were born, the doctor asked if we thought you would be a boy or a girl. I told him that you were a girl, and to get on with it! And then, right after you were born, he held you up to show you to me and your dad, and pronounced that you were a boy, and I said, "Really? That's ok! I wanted a boy!" Because, the moment I saw you, you were exactly what I wanted! And he placed your wrinkled little body, with your squinty little eyes, and your purple little feet, on my belly and I looked at you, and I saw the the most perfect.....the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. And in that moment, I fell desperately, and completely in love with you. I understood how it was possible to love two different children, uniquely, perfectly, and completely.
And now, when I think about how I felt, and about how I was able to love you as much as I loved your brother, I understand that, we humans, are not given a specific allotment of love that we have to distribute amongst people throughout our lives. Instead, we love each person totally and completely, and when someone else comes into our life, our hearts just expand and make room for more love. Kinda like the Grinch!






Jacob, you have a heart like this. You are capable of so much love! Beneath your flaws, beneath your imperfections, (Know that I am not condemning you here. We all have flaws and imperfections, myself included!) your heart is ready to burst! I've told you before, the picture God gave me for you. The picture of your heart, radiant, like diamonds, bursting forth, brilliant, and full of perfect love. You have been designed for a specific plan and purpose. You were designed to love in a way that will draw people to Christ. Surrender, Jacob. Surrender to that perfect design. Give yourself, as an offering, totally and completely over to Christ, And His perfect love will be multiplied in and through you.







Jacob, you are amazing! I am so excited to see God's plan and purpose for your life unfold! If you offer yourself completely over to Him, He will use you to make a difference in people's lives. You were made to be courageous! 

Just remember, wherever you go, wherever your life takes you, 
Know this.......

I love you forever,
I like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.

Mom