Friday, 27 May 2016

The Ugly Just Keeps On Going

An update on my 6 Fast





I am a broken, blubbering mess these days.
I feel like I have spent the last few months of my life wandering around in the desert.
I have wept enough tears to fill an ocean.
My heart feels dried up.
I am lost.
I am fake.
I am weak.



It's May 27, 2016.
I have bought only 1 personal clothing item.
I have bought two household items.
I'm well within, under even, the limit of my 6 fast.
And I still feel like a failure.


My eyes have been opened.
At least partially......
I am a sick and broken person,
living in a sick and broken world.
I have been caught up, along with the rest of our North American culture,
in a whirlwind of materialistic accumulation.
I buy and I buy and I buy.
And I am never satisfied.
Always bigger.
Always better.
Never enough.
I always want more.
And I am still empty.


Money gets spent on: clothes that rarely get worn.
                                   items that end up cluttering our homes.
                                   food that doesn't get eaten.
                                   coffee that we need to make it through the day.
                                   activities that make us feel better about ourselves.
                                  
And still we are never satisfied.
We are always looking for something more.
The next best thing.
 And then we throw it away.
(Except for the coffee.......we always drink the coffee.)








Copied and Pasted from Facebook



Last night, while Robenson fought for his life in a hospital his mama died in their home up in the mountains. In the 3 years since the drought began they have lost 3 children to malnutrition. Robenson is their 4th child and I am praying with every fiber of my being that his father does not have to burry his son and his wife together. Robenson's mother leaves behind a 6 month old baby girl whom she was breastfeeding. That baby is on her way to our center. I am overwhelmed. The grief and injustice is bigger than a mind can comprehend.
Her name was Melissa. She was 34 years old. She starved to death. In the year 2016.
Her name was Melissa.

Rhyan lives and works in Haiti.
 You can follow her on Facebook here https://www.facebook.com/rhyan.buettner,
and you can link to her website here, http://becausehecalled.blogspot.ca/.
 Do it.






I am ashamed.
I have food rotting in my refrigerator,
and Melissa starved to death in Haiti.
But my eyes are being opened.
I can no longer continue in the way I have been living.
I cannot un-see, what I have seen.
And no matter how painful this journey is,
I am grateful.
I am becoming less.
He is becoming more.